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All posts (930)

Recently, I've started transferring away from Gmail and moving to other, more trustworthy, providers woohoo, new leaf. During that time, I scoured every website and emails to transfer. That's when I stumbled upon X (formerly Twitter, and I prefer to call it that). And man oh man does it suck. I remember this once...
Jake Gyllenhaal 演的《Demolition》在我的电影清单上躺了很久。今天终于看了。一直对这部电影很好奇,是因为主人公身上表现出的情感解离,和我自己身上的某种麻木似乎有点像。 电影里,Davis 是在妻子突然离世之后,才诚实地意识到自己的麻木。现实中,我意识到自己的麻木是在 2018 年 5 月。那天,婆婆去世了。 我至今记得那个早晨。阴雨连绵的密西根,空气里透着寒冷。我坐在校车里,头靠在车窗上,看着玻璃上的哈气和缓缓滑落的雨滴。美国校车的座椅就是两个很硬的平面,外面裹着一层皮子,又冷又硌,让人浑身不舒服。 周围的同学叽叽喳喳地讨论着《创造101》——谁昨晚熬夜给哪个成员刷了票,哪个成员最好看。...
ask any artist what their source of inspiration is, and they'll tell you. what's mine, though? being alone. in silence. with my thoughts. yes, really. i strive to be bored and have a quiet moment to process things. in a tech-dominated age of... you know what... it's rare to have a quiet moment anymore. but you...
I don't know how long this feeling within me will last. It's the vaguely familiar feeling I generally had daily — just all over lost but lately it's being mixed with this weird mind/body funk I haven't really named yet. Nor will I probably ever name it. I've always known that we all do not grieve the same. Our...
It's been a difficult month for me. I've realized that my response has largely been to push through to the other side at all costs instead of taking the time to process and manage my emotions, and I've become a bit of a maniac as a result. I am taking a break. Externally, this will probably look like: Disappearing...
Video games & behavioral addictionThe first truly addictive game I ever played was the original Diablo, way back in 1996. I had always liked games, but when you played Diablo you would actually lose time. I mean, really lose it. You'd look up and it would be midnight. The whole night would be gone. I didn't...
Having some anonymity on my blog has been comforting. Whether it’s online or in person, I don’t want people in all of my business. If being in my 20s has taught me anything, it’s that I should be careful of what I share publicly. Which is why I removed my projects page. If I ever want to post about a project, I’ll...
Every day I hear about something so odd happening in the world. Not only are there bad things happening constantly such as wars but the ridiculousness of humans. My partner enjoys scrolling socials and out of the blue they will tell me a bad post. I've learned to keep my mouth shut because in the past it leads us...
I want to talk about something that's been on my mind for a while: search has quietly gotten worse over the past several years, and I think it's worth being honest about why, and what it's actually costing us. Anyone who's pasted a specific error message into a search box recently knows the experience. The first...
A mindmap flowchart, letting the days go by, into the blue again. You may find, ask and tell yourself…

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