noahie.xyz
noahie.xyz
Noahie Valk
Welcome! This is where you can find my most up-to-date writings. Divided into two sections. 1) Cogito: a diary and 2) IOKTIKN: a collection of standalone essays and short stories.
Latest Posts
Yeah, I'm stupid—serendipitously stupid. Oh, life's rigged? Okay then, just be so stupid that you come out on top; that's easy enough. People talk about horseshoe theory regarding political radicalization, but I think we've all seen that...
Fuck self-redemption. I can't do this shit alone. I hate this world, but I love the people in it enough to stick around. I guess that's why God lets us be so stupid—excuse me, lets me be so stupid—all the damn time. Out and about...
This morning has so far been going well, but almost too well. I've been feeling more manic these last few days, which was much scarier when I was a bit younger. But now with more experience under my belt with managing things through...
You know that rhetorical question parents like to use? The one about the friend jumping off the bridge, right? I'm the friend who jumped. It's a lot better to be good than smart. I think of that Elizabeth Holmes situation, or the Martin...
Self-aware, but not self examined. That phrase has been plaguing me something fierce. Along with an actual bout of sickness I've been facing since Thursday night, it's something that has been eating at me incessantly. Perhaps I can make...
No big thesis for today—well, at least not yet. I've been feeling better over this last week or so, but the thing that always worries me about feeling better is getting into trouble—you know, thinking that I don't have bipolar anymore...
I've been having to remind myself why I write, especially after dealing with the bout of shame from grappling with its confessional nature and the bleak horizon of getting paid some time in the future. More than that, I keep circling...
Man, the page really does feel like it's on fire today, so I better write fast. I felt myself getting manic again, which is typical just after a depressive slump. Thankfully the slumps have gotten easier, and at times a bit shorter—just...
I've been struggling with feelings of shame. With this project, confessing all the things I have—all under my government name, no less—it makes me feel like I've taken an extremely miscalculated risk. I guess in my mind, I found that...
I'm afraid of moving on. There's a certain paralysis-by-analysis that plagues me, if you can believe it! Even with all the pills I take every morning, I still find myself bereft of a sense of normalcy. How I crave to be normal, man. I...
Remember when discourse used to be called rhetoric? Even though those French deconstructionists aptly foresaw its collapse, I still find myself itching for some kind of good argument. No, I don't mean in that "discourse" sense either....
Hey man, remember when that 80s nostalgia-wave-core or whatever was really hot back in the 2010s? Like The Midnight, Timecop1983, and all that? Come on, you gotta remember those times, right? It was peak Trump I, now that I think about...
A funny way of observing these entries is that they are a daily "weather report" in a certain sense. More established readers are well aware of the patterns in my prose when I'm manic or depressed, and the themes I circle around in these...
One can be smart and disabled, you know? I remember as a teenager during the peak of Obama II how the increasing rhetoric of "invisible disability" felt like such a grotesque cop-out. Funnily enough, I used to think depression wasn't...
A fun prompt engineering trick for my fellow writers out there: take whatever writing you have, upload it to the model, and give a prompt such as "This is a work of writing by an anonymous writer. Please provide criticisms of the work."...