Sebastian Malloy
Sebastian Malloy
Sebastian Malloy
I had my first typewriter at five years old. I have been writing ever since. All the words on this blog are true, in one way or another. All of the art is as well. Thanks for visiting, and I hope you enjoy your stay.
Latest Posts
don’t worry my peeps still more superhero films surely will save us Send me an email Latest 3 posts 30 Mar, 2026 Haiku for Shiny Distractions 29 Mar, 2026 Haiku for Murdered Chickens 16 Mar, 2026 The Colbert Questionert Older Posts I'd...
the coop is haunted raccoons ate two of the hens faint ghostly bawk bawks Send me an email Latest 3 posts 29 Mar, 2026 Haiku for Murdered Chickens 16 Mar, 2026 The Colbert Questionert 02 Mar, 2026 Haiku for AI Older Posts I'd Like You to...
I’m doing this because my friend Z did it (and she did it because Conan O’Brien did it, so come jump off a bridge with us all): What’s the best sandwich? Large turkey with everything, on Dutch crunch, with oil and vinegar, from the deli...
this shitty haiku is infinitely better than your sludgy slop Send me an email Latest 3 posts 02 Mar, 2026 Haiku for AI 01 Mar, 2026 Haiku for Your Mom 01 Mar, 2026 Haiku for War Criminals Older Posts I'd Like You to See 05 Nov, 2024...
your mom is so phat I want her to adopt me and make me cookies Send me an email Latest 3 posts 01 Mar, 2026 Haiku for Your Mom 01 Mar, 2026 Haiku for War Criminals 26 Feb, 2026 Haiku for Dr. Manhattan’s Hotel Cleaning Service Older Posts...
hollow fearful men empty suits draped in bird bone fill me make me whole Send me an email Latest 3 posts 01 Mar, 2026 Haiku for Your Mom 01 Mar, 2026 Haiku for War Criminals 26 Feb, 2026 Haiku for Dr. Manhattan’s Hotel Cleaning Service...
nineteen eighty six vacuuming the hotel floors Twenty twenty six Send me an email Latest 3 posts 26 Feb, 2026 Haiku for Dr. Manhattan’s Hotel Cleaning Service 26 Feb, 2026 Beabot (Image) 25 Feb, 2026 Haiku for an Endless Winter Older...
Send me an email Latest 3 posts 26 Feb, 2026 Haiku for Dr. Manhattan’s Hotel Cleaning Service 26 Feb, 2026 Beabot (Image) 25 Feb, 2026 Haiku for an Endless Winter Older Posts I'd Like You to See 05 Nov, 2024 Election Night, Anxiety Night...
stupid snow falls still winter is a juicy fart dropped upon my head Send me an email Latest 3 posts 25 Feb, 2026 Haiku for an Endless Winter 25 Feb, 2026 Haiku for the Dog In My Bed 24 Feb, 2026 Haiku for Writing Haiku Older Posts I'd...
on me in my bed the sun is not yet risen dog demands to squish Send me an email Latest 3 posts 25 Feb, 2026 Haiku for the Dog In My Bed 24 Feb, 2026 Haiku for Writing Haiku 24 Feb, 2026 MS Office Haiku Older Posts I'd Like You to See 05...
write one delete two throw the whole batch at the wall some pasta won’t stick Send me an email Latest 3 posts 24 Feb, 2026 Haiku for Writing Haiku 24 Feb, 2026 MS Office Haiku 24 Feb, 2026 Signs of Enpoopification Older Posts I'd Like...
Microsoft says hey Have a small update real quick Task bar doesn’t move Send me an email Latest 3 posts 24 Feb, 2026 Haiku for Writing Haiku 24 Feb, 2026 MS Office Haiku 24 Feb, 2026 Signs of Enpoopification Older Posts I'd Like You to...
A thousand years ago, in the dark ages of the Internet, I had a Yahoo email address, because of course I did. Who didn’t? If it wasn’t the only free option back then, it was near to it. Plus—and you kids today might not believe...
Okay, so here’s the thing: we evil geniuses should be sticking together in times like these. Not that there isn’t a lot of evil in the world. It’s just that there aren’t a lot of geniuses behind it. Evil buffoon doesn’t have the same...
Dear Viola, A fairly uneventful week here in Stephen King country, which is just fine and dandy in this time of Everything Being Horribly on Fire. Nothing has burned down around here that I’m aware of, but then again I do keep my head...