Notes by JCProbably
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Two weeks after saying goodbye, we finally brought Cocoa home today. After Cocoa passed, we chose to have her privately cremated. We bought an urn for her and had a plaque engraved with the words Forever Our Baby Grandma. I also decided...
📌 Yesterday, Cocoa's (kitchen) water bowl has officially dried up. We haven't emptied it since the last day she took a sip from it 13 days ago. It's hitting me pretty hard. The grief I feel comes in waves. At the same time, it also feels...
This past week, we found ourselves back at Heidrun Meadery. The last time we were there was almost a year ago, in August celebrating my birthday, with Cocoa. It's one of our favorite places to spend a quiet afternoon, tucked beneath the...
This past week, LC and I have made a conscious effort to spend even more time outside. To keep our vibrations up. To get some sunshine on our faces, breathe fresh air, and be near some sort of body of water whenever we were able to. Not...
I have been functioning in survival mode for so long that I didn't even realize we were about to enter a new month. A new month where I'll be experiencing my first full month without Cocoa, somehow becoming another year older, and...
My best friend, my soul dog, my everything, Cocoa, crossed the rainbow bridge on July 22, 2026 between 12:46 - 12:51PM Pacific after a fight with IVDD (where she became paralyzed in 3 of her limbs). I am swimming in an ocean of grief,...
I’ve been drowning. I’ve been trying to keep my head above a raging storm of feelings that I never knew had a collective name when put together: anticipatory grief.1 Obviously, like everything in my life, once I can put a name to...
No one really prepares you for this chapter of loving a senior dog. At least no one has prepared me. I thought the hardest part of it all would be the frequent vet visits, the scheduled medications, or the peppering gray around her...
June was a rough month. It was the first full month Cocoa was sick, and so our whole lives revolved around her. Therefore, as expected, no Micro Thoughts were shouted into the void this month. ⚠️ Want to learn what these Micro Thoughts...
⚠️ Want to learn what these Micro Thoughts are? Read the explanation here May 25, 2026 @ 9:58 PM🏃♀️ Today: I signed up to do my first half marathon after talking about it for YEARS. May 2, 2026 @ 6:56 AM👖 I was a (semi) hater but I...
I am rebranding my personal Week Notes series.I haven’t done a Week Notes post since the first week of December. There were a few times recently when I wanted to publish one again, but I knew that restarting it would also feel like...
LC and I celebrated our 11-year anniversary today.Ten years was easy to name as a milestone. After all, it’s a whole ass decade. Eleven is a little less obvious, but it’s still something I want to mark and celebrate, just in a quieter...
I am currently backdating some of these posts so if you see these come across your RSS feed, I'm sorry. ⚠️ Want to learn what these Micro Thoughts are? Read the explanation here April 26, 2026 @ 1:51 PM🕸️ Spidey season means making time...
There’s something unsettling about being the new kid on the block, even as an adult. It’s not super obvious, at least not like back then when you were a literal child. No one is pointing or whispering. There’s no cafeteria to navigate or...
It takes 21 days to form a habit.I used to think that I could build a routine, and keep it as long as I was disciplined enough. There is comfort in that mindset, in believing that as long as we find something that works, we can hold on...